It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog post. I’m happy to say that I’m finally starting to feel that urge to write again after a crazy busy month of October that culminated with my wedding on the 28th! I’m a wife now and feeling extremely content.
Speaking of getting married, it’s one of those life events that provide you with a proverbial “clean slate”. Much like moving or starting a new job, a change in relationship status is a good time to revisit your life and the direction it’s heading. It was in that spirit that I sat down to come up with a list of “manifestos” for my life.
Companies have manifestos, a public declaration of their policy or aim, so why shouldn’t we as individuals have them too? After all, we are the CEO’s of our lives!
***It’s important to note that this list is aspirational. I’m not saying it’s what I do all the time but it’s what I TRY to do. This list is how I aim to live, knowing that at times I will fall short. This is what I will remind myself of daily and come back to if/when I get lost.
Here they are…
As simple as it sounds! I take pride in being a “what you see is what you get” type of person. No faking. Just be myself, always. I believe that authenticity is the best form of service. As long as I’m being me I will attract the people and opportunities that are meant for me. At the same time, I will repel those that are not. Living with the result of that authenticity is far better than spending my life being someone other than who I really am.
Go Deep Not Wide
When it comes to friendships, I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies! As far as how many work projects I’m committed to, I’m more interested in doing a few things I’m super passionate about with excellence than spreading myself thin trying to take on every possible opportunity. Workouts? I prefer a quick, effective HIIT workout over an hour long, less intense sweat sesh. My relationship? My love language is quality time. In ALL things, quality over quantity.
It Always Gets Done
When it comes to stress management, something I struggle with, I trust that history will continue to repeat itself. All of the many times that I’ve felt overwhelmed, things always ended up getting done. So why not skip the drama and trust the process? Deep breaths, baby steps, and self belief!
Enjoy The Process
Speaking of the process, it’s as important as the outcome. I don’t want to rush to meet milestones. “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t you stop throwing away money on rent and buy a house?” and the list goes on. I want to embrace the in between, the struggle, the climb, the journey… which is always so special when looking back.
Love What I Love
This one’s about not seeking approval but rather allowing myself to be attracted to what I love and to pursue it unapologetically….even if other people don’t seem to understand or agree with it. I’m not doing it for them, I’m not doing it for “likes”, I’m doing it for me. Because I love it.
Consider The Source
One of my absolute favorite quotes is from a woman I admire, Brené Brown. “If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” Amen, sista. Enough said.
Feel Deeply, Release Quickly
This is a value I’ve embraced since getting into yoga. When my feelings get hurt or when someone or something makes me angry I have learned to let myself experience those feelings. Emotions, even negative ones, are not bad. They are part of being human and are often justifiable! Maybe I need to vent to someone I trust or maybe I need to have a good cry. Then after a day or two (longer depending on the intensity of the emotion) it’s time to release it and move forward. I find it’s so much easier to “let it go” once I’ve allowed myself to feel.
Collaboration Over Competition
My natural tendency is to be competitive. My dad is a college soccer coach so I was brought up that way. It’s part of me. But in the last year, much due to my yoga practice, I’ve become much more interested in collaboration, especially when it comes to the side projects I’m working on, and it’s been a blessing in many ways. Another quote I love, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
It’s Okay to Change My Mind
I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even one year ago. I imagine that trend will continue in the future which is why the new website I’m building is simply “stephfischer.com”. (Set to launch sometime in December!) I no longer want to put myself in a box or give myself a label, knowing the great potential there is for growth. I want to be free to learn and evolve and change my mind as I follow my heart and also as new evidence presents itself.
Say No More Often
This one has completely changed my life. It’s all about honoring myself and getting rid of the dysfunction of people pleasing. I refuse to live a life of obligation. This doesn’t mean I won’t sacrifice and serve others. But when I make the choice to say “yes” it won’t be out of fear of disappointing others it will be because I want to. When I say “no” it’s out of respect for myself, my time, and my energy.
My no’s don’t require an over explanation, it is powerful enough on its’ own. Even more, who I am doesn’t require an explanation. Sometimes I am misunderstood but you know what? That’s okay. I don’t need to explain myself to people who don’t care to understand where I’m coming from. It’s like trying to change someone’s political views with a Facebook post, it ain’t gonna happen.
Anger Is Just Love Disappointed
This is a line from an Eagles song (my dad’s favorite band) and it’s always stuck with me because it’s so true. When people are angry they’re really just hurt and it’s worth being curious about that instead of being reactive. If I can keep this front of mind it will help me deal when conflicts arise. It will also help me be more self-reflective when I’m the one who is angry.
Don’t Measure What You Love
The frequency of my blog posts, the calorie burn of my workouts, the weight of my body, how many times I’ve emptied the dishwasher compared to my husband…when I measure these things it steals joy from my life. My writing, my time spent exercising, my body, my marriage, and anything else I love are to be enjoyed, not measured.
Now it’s your turn!! Create your own list of manifestos for your life, as many or as few as you’d like! Message me your list on Facebook , along with your address and I’ll send you a free gift! In a future blog post I’ll compile everyone’s manifestos so you can see what others came up with! Send me your lists from now until December 1st and then I’ll send your free gift!